My Father’s Day tribute to my dad and all Punjabi fathers I know

By Jatinder Singh | OPINION | SINGAPORE |

While the Punjabi Mommy and Auntyji give us the most reason to laugh and laugh again, the Punjabi Papa or Daddy take the backseat!

Possibly always seen as the quiet newspaper reading character in movies, or the Fear Factor in our daily lives, the Punjabi Dad has his classics, too. While daughters always enjoy their soft spots and sons remain confused, let us look at them from the lightest points of view!

Disclaimer: Content may not be identifiable for some readers. Worry not, we all evolve, so keep monitoring hard and…. Yes! Spot on it is…

Warning: Alcohol consumption is injurious to health but responsible for comical behaviours where relevant.

FIVE CHARACTERISTICS TO FIND FUNNY FROM YOUR FATHER…

1. Gossip: Best explained with a case study.

Mum (To Daughter): I heard this morning at temple (gurdwara) that your friend has quit school to get married?!

Dad (Strict Interruption): You go temple to pray or to listen to stories. Just mind your own business! Her friend last night we were taking, is not quitting school but did not pass her exams so she has no choice but to get married and move to Sydney where she will continue her diploma and help in her husband’s car rental company, and the Sangeet will still be in Singapore!

Conclusion: Daddyji knows it all from head to toe but is so against gossip. Clap, clap.

2. Imaginary Stories: The Punjabi Dad is blessed with so many experiences that it’s difficult to keep up sometimes. He is the Manifesto of Do you Know?

When exams are near for instance… “Do you know that when my O-levels exams were coming, I slept only 3eeee hours to study and you see where I am today.”

Now the problem is that a few months ago, he was telling the neighbour in the lift how he always wished he did not stop at Primary School!

Conclusion: They redefine ‘White-bluffs’. We now call it ‘Motivational Speech’.

3. Strong and hunger withstanding souls:

Think just think of the times in these monologues;

– Just leave the shifting to me. Don’t strain your backs. Go help your mummy unpack.

(1 hour later) “Anyone seen the pain killer cream? Anyone knows where the medical plaster for the BACK is? Panadol whereeeeee?

– (Dinner plan failed) You all eat. Don’t worry. Make maggi if you like. There is ice cream too. Carry on. I will manage.

(11pm close to bedtime) Any more packets of The Maggi? Eggs? Bread? Oh no, all the ice cream is gone!

Conclusion: Loving Fathers. They forsake themselves to feed us. Mummy was the one who finished the ice cream, actually. NO MORE MAGGI AND ICE CREAM ON THE SUPERMARKET LIST till further notice.

4. Fashion: Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and so do our father’s looks to us. But we know looks are skin deep and so we share our fashion sense with them. A huge topic this one.

They don’t shop. Sill, their wardrobes are filled with clothes because they don’t throw away anything. Especially that one “Killer Jersey”. While I know wives who hide those away, ironically this garment is always washed and ready to be used. If it is not washed…. it will be dug up and still used. Ewwww…

The Killer Jersey appears in 80 percent of all photos across 10 years. The body grows but the magic stays fit. And finally comes the grand family wedding. Daddy looks dashing in his kurta and we must take a picture but he is busy either helping at, or helping himself, to the bar. We shall wait till we finally leave to take a snap. The latest Hua Wei camera will adjust his jolly facial appearance. Yes, there is still hope. And then…. Mummy is in the front seat. Where is daddy and our needed photo? He has changed to the Jersey. Where did the jersey come from? That same jersey. Arrrrrghhhhhhh.

Conclusion: The Fashion challenge is clear and can be resolved. Pray. Just pray hard that he shall soon find his new flame. And when he does, he will then sigh and say: “Actually I should have bought this new one a long time back!”

5. Gurdaas Maan: Parallel in many ways to the fashion sentiment, and definitely dynamic to the genre; For some it is Rafi. For others it is Queen, or simply every song that Rajesh Khanna attempted a dance to… Gurdaas Maan took it all away with “Apna Punjab Howe”.

You tell him that latest Diljit Dosanj song is smashing dance floors. In 2 seconds of that song, he says: “I prefer Apna Punjab!” You try again, this time with a female voice like Sunidi Chauhan. He still says, “Gurdaas Man-lah. I tell you Gurdaas Maan.” You will give up because you can feel the next one coming… “Download for me. One for my phone, one for my car. And one Spare. No remix-rumix. Original version”.

And in case you’re wondering what’s the spare one for? It’s mobility. When the Deejay says last song at 1am after the super draining wedding week, and you see your Papa suddenly walking 25 meters with a Thumb Drive pointed at the dancefloor, very enchanted and he says, “Apna Punjab Howe!”

CONCLUSION: I have narrated an account that’s definitely not exhaustive but ample for my Father’s Day Saga. There are surely so many many relatable and funnier ‘classics’ of the Punjabi Father in Singapore and perhaps world-over.

Jatinder (Jat) Singh, who studied sociology at National University of Singapore, is a freelance trainer and enjoys emceeing special events

* This is the opinion of the writer, organisation or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Asia Samachar.

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