By Harmit Singh | In Memoriam |
I can’t remember when I first met Aunty Pam. Her loud voice filled the rooms of the old Sabha House along Jalan Maarof, Bangsar in Kuala Lumpur [the headquarters of the Sikh Naujawan Sabha Malaysia, SNSM]. Her presence never in question.
The Akaal Purak Ki Fauj in Bangsar remained a women-led operation. I could have promised the group of women running the show looked identical, and I often mistook some of them for my mother. That’s how the community felt at least, all one tribe looking out for one another.
But like pylons that hold a building together, you may have missed the contribution of this group of beautiful women. They made sure their families turned up, all dressed up and ready to participate. And unlike the previous generation of women leaders, they also led the Sikhi inspired youth development programs.
They sowed the seeds of education and empowered us to believe in ourselves as agents of progress. They showed us what it meant to be Sikh and made us understand that it’s our responsibility to work hard, include others, and contribute to the community.
With service as our primary objective, we also managed to dodge potholes of ideological dogma and moved past community programs as merely means of bolstering the egos of a few.
Being one of the youngest participants in the Bangsar Fauj circa 2000, I naturally received ample hugs and attention, but never more so than from Aunty Pam. You could easily mistake her loud voice as aggressive, but talk to her and you’d soon find the most gentle and caring of personalities.
Alongside her husband Uncle Harbinder Singh (SNSM jathedar between 1997 to 2000) and son Meharvan Singh, her small family infected us with the joys of community. Uncle Harbinder epitomised the concept of a gentleman while Aunty Pam expressed her affection both through being sweet and stern. Being a teacher herself, she naturally led the Fauj’s classroom sessions.
Like I said, these women didn’t stick to traditional gender roles. Aunty Pam in particular felt rock-and-roll, best described by her go-to-threat “if you don’t behave, I’ll hang you upside down.”
I remember the Fauj’s frequent outings as well, including to hiking trails or camp sites (these were a precursor to the Adventure Camps). Being a child in these spaces, observing my community create and share joy filled me with wonder. Here, breaking free from everyday norms, it was the adults that led the pangay (mischeif).
I remember my father wrestling Uncle Pheji while Aunty Pam pushing my mother into the river. These experiences revealed to me the exact nature of being a valuable community member. Why would you want to sit in a room holding a mala when you could be outside sharing your life with one another?
Unfortunately, as often happens, internal politics led to the disbanding of the Bangsar Fauj. These women, however, continued the struggle and many of them went on to form the backbone of the Sikh Women’s Awareness Network (SWAN).
Although Aunty Pam will always remain my Might Khalsa penji [one of the three birgades that made up the Fauj along side Miri Piri and Sant Sipahi], I also enjoyed the privilege of developing a relationship with her as an adult. Alongside my mother, she thought at SpringGate Academy, a private education institute and remained an educator into her 70s.
As expected, her voice continued to fill classrooms as she shaped yet another generation under her gentle guidance.
Aunty Pam passed away on the 30th August 2024, leaving behind her husband and lovely son. She is dearly missed by her colleagues, friends, and community.
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